Books for parents of ADHD and autistic children: what to read, and what to know

What makes a good book for parents of ADHD and autistic children?

A good one helps you understand your child without trying to make them less like themselves, and gives you something to do on Monday. These are the things to weigh.

• Approach. We look for books that read a child's behaviour as information, not defiance, and we leave out books built on compliance training. Greene's model starts from the idea that kids do well if they can; Fricker writes from inside a family living through school avoidance.
• Who wrote it. Fricker is a parent and illustrator who advocates on PDA, autism and learning. Greene is an American clinical child psychologist. Hoopmann writes picture books for children. Naomi Fisher is a clinical psychologist. Each gives you a different kind of authority.
• UK or US. Can't Not Won't is written from the UK, so the schools, referrals and support it describes are the ones you will meet. The Explosive Child is American, so skip past anything about US school law.
• Who reads it. Parent alone, both parents, or parent and child together. All Dogs Have ADHD is the one to read with your child.
• Length in pages. All Dogs Have ADHD and All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum are 80 pages each, The Family Experience of PDA 144, Can't Not Won't 160 and the EHCP guide 208. On a hard week, that matters.
• Format. Illustrated and graphic books are easier to read in snatched minutes, which is how most parents read.

Parent books compared

What is PDA, and why does it come up so often?

PDA, short for pathological demand avoidance, describes a pattern of avoiding everyday demands that some parents and professionals see in some autistic children. The National Autistic Society says PDA does not appear in the international medical manual (the ICD) or the American one (the DSM), that a standalone diagnosis of PDA is not possible, and that there is broad agreement more and better research is needed.

It comes up because many parents recognise it in their child, and because the practical books written by parents often use the term. Eliza Fricker describes herself as an advocate and consultant for PDA, autism and learning, and her other titles include The Family Experience of PDA, an illustrated guide to family life with a PDA profile, which is one of our picks. In the two Mumsnet special needs threads we read about possible PDA, The Explosive Child was among the books parents recommended, even though it is not a PDA book.

If the term fits your family, these books can help. If a professional does not use it, that reflects the clinical position the National Autistic Society describes, not a judgement on what you are seeing at home.

If school has become a battle

Start with Can't Not Won't, then learn the UK system. Fricker's book is a story of one family through school avoidance and the search for support, told in drawings, with guidance woven in. It is the book to hand to a relative who thinks the answer is to be firmer.

The system itself is set out on GOV.UK. It explains that special educational needs and disabilities can affect a child's ability to learn, and that an education, health and care (EHC) plan is for children and young people up to 25 with more complex needs. Fricker has co-written a practical guide to that process with Dr Abigail Fisher, The Essential EHCP Guide for Parents and Carers, published in January 2026. If school is not working at all, A Different Way to Learn, by clinical psychologist Naomi Fisher, looks at self-directed education instead.

What should you read with your child?

Read something short that is about them, not about handling them. All Dogs Have ADHD is 80 pages of photographs of dogs bouncing around and losing focus, which lets a child laugh at the dog before deciding whether any of it sounds like them. Kathy Hoopmann's companion book, All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum, does the same for autism with photographs of cats.

A few things make it land better:

• Let them hold it. Read it once together, then leave it on their shelf rather than yours.
• Ask, don't tell. "Which dog is most like you?" gets further than pointing at a page.
• Follow their lead. If they are not interested today, put it away. It will keep.

Things to know

• These books are not assessment or advice. ADHD UK advises that if you think your child may have ADHD, you speak to your GP or school. The National Autistic Society's parent guides cover the environment, communication and preparing for change.
• Evidence claims. Greene's organisation describes Collaborative and Proactive Solutions as evidence-based. We have not assessed that research ourselves; we describe what the model sets out to do.
• How we checked. Publishers, dates and page counts are from the publisher or the author's own site on 11 September 2026. We could not confirm the page count of The Explosive Child's sixth edition, and Bookshop.org UK would not load for our checks, so prices are from our product data.
• Where the book lives. A child who finds a book with "explosive" in the title on the kitchen table may take it personally. Keep parent books somewhere private, and let your child see the ones written for them.
• Books about your child are about your child. If they are old enough, ask what they would want you to know. Their account is worth more than any author's.